My former partner left me after I was diagnosed with cancer three years ago. Around the same time, my friend passed away. It was a really difficult period in my life, and I was deeply hurt by some of my ex’s actions after we broke up. She would boast about how leaving me was a good thing and how she was enjoying her promiscuous phase. She even slept with my former best friend, who had done hurtful things to me in the past. Since then, my life has improved significantly, and now she wants to be involved in my life again.
I met my ex about seven years ago, and we started casually dating around 2018. Our relationship was initially chaotic and unhealthy for reasons I don’t want to discuss, and I take responsibility for my actions that hurt her. We ended up damaging our friendship, stopped talking for a while, and then I reached out after almost a year because I realized I missed what we had. She was hesitant, but we decided to give it another try.
During that time, our relationship was fulfilling, and I was deeply in love with her. It felt secure and loving, although I wasn’t sure how realistic our future together was. We got back together shortly before the pandemic began, so there weren’t many activities for us to do other than spend time together. My ex was struggling with some life decisions and figuring out her next steps. Her family was also going through a difficult time, with her parents separating and her dad moving abroad for work.
Her relationship with her mother wasn’t great either. She wasn’t in school and was uncertain about her career path. On the other hand, I was pursuing a dual degree at a prestigious college, participating in varsity athletics, and planning to attend an Ivy League school for my master’s. I never made her feel inferior or discouraged her; instead, I always encouraged her to go back to school, which she eventually did. I loved her deeply and cared about her because she made me feel secure and loved.
In July 2020, I started experiencing some symptoms in my groin area during training after a difficult session. I went for an MRI, which revealed that I had torn my groin. During the procedure, the doctor conducted some blood tests that raised concerns, and they discovered a tumor in my groin. It was cancerous, but luckily it was caught early, and the prognosis was okay. However, the treatment was challenging. I couldn’t continue my athletic training, and I had to work and attend classes online.
Three weeks after the surgery, and after introducing me to her family, my ex came to my place and broke up with me, claiming that the spark was gone. She said she no longer loved me and didn’t want to work on the relationship. I was completely devastated and mentally shattered. Within hours, she moved on and started dating someone else, which crushed me. To make matters worse, a week later, my best friend from childhood passed away in his sleep. I suggested that we reassess our relationship after a month, but I was so hurt and broken that I ended up cutting off all contact. The following months were the darkest period of my life, mentally.
Eventually, I received clearance to resume training and continued my classes online due to the pandemic. However, I was still emotionally damaged. I underwent therapy, cried a lot, and had numerous mental breakdowns. I tried moving on with someone else, but the relationship didn’t last because it wasn’t fair to involve her in the emotional turmoil I was experiencing. During this time, my ex was bragging to our mutual friends about how she was enjoying her promiscuous phase and how glad she was that she left me.
She even slept with my former best friend, whom she knew had hurt me deeply in the past. When I found out about it, I was devastated. To add to the difficulty, she “coincidentally” ran into me at places I frequented, which made me angry and upset.
Since then, I have accomplished a lot in my life. I graduated with two degrees, got accepted into an Ivy League school for my master’s degree, and started a great job. I have gone through therapy, worked on myself, and even qualified for a major sporting event. Meanwhile, my ex recently reached out to me, expressing how proud she is of my achievements and suggesting we meet up for coffee. She mentioned missing our friendship and wanting to be involved in my life again. However, she is currently in a relationship with someone else, and I find her actions disrespectful.
My mind is telling me to confront her and ask her to leave me alone, but my heart feels conflicted. Despite the pain she caused me, I still have strong feelings for her. I’m unsure of what to do in this situation.