I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend since I was 19, and now I am 23. Throughout our time together, he has been a supportive and caring partner.
He has helped my family when they needed assistance, been there for me during difficult times, taken me on vacations, and shown a strong commitment to our relationship. However, there is an incident from about a year and a half ago that continues to affect me deeply.
During a birthday party organized by my best friend, both my boyfriend and I had been drinking, along with other attendees. I was moderately intoxicated, as was my best friend. At one point during the party, a guy who was close to my best friend playfully sl*pped her butt and then mine.
It was meant as a joke, but I was taken aback and unsure of how to respond. My boyfriend was nearby and witnessed the incident, yet he did not intervene or address the situation. I looked at my best friend, feeling shocked and confused.
Later that night, we slept over at my best friend’s house, and the following day, my actual birthday, tensions between my boyfriend and me escalated during the car ride home. He was furious about the guy slapping my ass, and I kept apologizing to him, but he only became angrier.
By the time we arrived at my house, we had been arguing for over an hour. I started to feel frustrated that he was directing his anger towards me, and in a moment of anger myself, I made a hurtful comment along the lines of him not being “man enough” or being a “p*ssy” for not standing up to the guy. In response, he lifted a wine bottle above his head as if he was going to swing it at me. I was shocked and scared, and he immediately dropped it.
The rest of my birthday was spent in tears. I asked him to leave my house and reached out to my mom for support. She downplayed the severity of the situation, pointing out that he did drop the bottle, but I couldn’t shake the memory and the fear it evoked in me.
Despite this incident, I chose to stay in the relationship. Now, a year later, that memory continues to haunt me. The fact that he is now discussing marriage has brought these concerns to the forefront of my mind. I realize that his anger has surfaced before, such as when he threw my fan during an argument, resulting in its breakage.