George saw me once and he couldn’t take his eyes off me. I smiled in my head and said to myself, “Go away you sugar-tongue heartbreaker. I don’t need you in my life.” But he was a good-looking guy. Someone you look at and give him all the attention he needs because he deserves it. He was new in the area. I didn’t know his history but I decided to watch him for a while and see how things go.
We went out on a date one Saturday night and he introduced me to the kind of world he lived in. He loved good food and loved to hang out at places I love to be. He scored a point in my love book but I was still observing, looking for just one reason not to love him. For a month I couldn’t get a reason. He made me the centre of his world and asked the direction I was spinning so he could meet me at my spinning point.
He met my mom and dad and my junior sister when he was nothing to me. I introduced him as a good friend. My dad asked, “Just a good friend?” I nodded. He turned to George, “Tell the truth. Are you just a friend or there’s something more?” He smiled shyly and said, “We met not too long ago. She wants friendship before anything else, so yes. She’s just a friend.”
I realized my dad liked him and wanted something more between us than just friendship. After that day, anytime I spoke to Dad, he asked me, “How’s your friend and how far with you two? Is he still just a friend?”
George proposed to me on a Sunday. I said yes on a Monday. On Saturday, our relationship started spinning on its head.
George was pulling away from me and he made it so obvious that he didn’t want me again. If we had had sex, I would have attributed it to the sex and say he had had what he came for that was why he was pulling away. The farthest we had gone was hugging. “Or he came for just a hug and now that he has gotten what he wanted, he has no need for me again.”
On the phone one night, I asked him, “George, tell me the truth. What have you seen wrong with me? This is a new relationship that’s yet to see the sun and moon. We haven’t met the storm yet but look at us running helter-skelter to avoid a wind that’s not chasing us. What’s the matter with you?”
After talking for over fifteen minutes and asking questions, all he said was, “This is not the right time to talk about things. We’ll talk later.” I screamed, “George, we don’t have later. You better talk now!”
He didn’t state his reasons. He left me cold and shivering in the rain without a cover. When Dad called one day and asked about him, I did hmmm. He asked if something was wrong. I gave him the classical answer, “There’s no problem. We are fine.” He said, “You’re not getting any younger. Stop playing hard to get and allow someone to love you. That chap looks like a good man. If you think he’s not, don’t waste your time on him. Time is not favourable to anyone these days.”
George continued ghosting me until I decided enough was enough. I concluded he wasn’t man enough to give voice to his reasons and a man like him wasn’t worth it. I stopped calling.
Six months later, I made a comment in a Facebook group and got a lot of comments under my comment. George came to write, “Eii, you’re also here? Long time.” I responded to every comment beneath my post and ignored his. It was intentional. In the evening he called. I asked where he got my number from and he said, “I never deleted your number. I’ve had it since.”
That was a sarcastic question but he missed it. He said, “I know you’re still angry with me because of how things happened. I didn’t know how to address the questions. Let’s accept I was childish but forgive me.”
He went ahead to tell me the reasons why he ghosted me. According to him, along the line he met Ekow and Ekow was the reason our relationship didn’t last a week.
According to George, Ekow saw us together and asked about the relationship between us and he told him. After telling Ekow what existed between us, he said Ekow laughed at him and warned him to be careful because I wasn’t worth it. Ekow went ahead to tell him he and I once dated but he left me because he caught me sleeping with another man. “She would leave you when she meets someone richer. Ask around here and they’ll tell you who she really is.” Ekow said.
It didn’t end there, according to him, Ekow went ahead to mention three other guys I’d treated the same way. I asked him, “So is that the reason you left me? You thought I would find a better man and leave you?” He answered, “No, that wasn’t the reason but it sounded like…”
I didn’t let him finish his statement. I thanked him and said goodbye. He asked, “So is it true? I mean what Ekow said.” I answered, “Does it matter?”
I grew up with Ekow. We were friends for so long when he proposed to me I found it weird. I said no to his proposal. We still remained friends but he never stopped telling me he wanted to date me. He did that for over a year so I wanted to give him a chance only to find out he was dating someone else. I knew the girl. Ekow didn’t even know I was about to give him a chance. If he knew, I believe he would have left that girl for me. Later, I met Francis and dated him.
When he found out I was dating Francis, he got angry and said I didn’t date him because he didn’t have money. He came to my house to quarrel with me. “Is it because he has a car and I don’t? What do you see in him? He’s rich and I’m not, right?”
That conversation seared our friendship beyond repairs. At some point, Ekow travelled out of town. I didn’t even know he was back in town until George told me about him that day.
God being so good, one evening, I met George and Ekow and another girl who behaved like she owned Ekow. It was George who called me. Immediately I saw Ekow, I got angry. I asked, “Ekow, which year did I date you? I know it’s part of your CV and you’re not shy from displaying it so tell me now.”
George held my hand trying to pull me away. I stood my ground. I even took a seat next to them. “You enumerated all the men I’d slept with. I’m here. Give me the list too.”
He sat quietly scrolling through his phone. The girl was lost. The villager in me was on display that evening. I didn’t care who was looking at us. I told him I was going to curse him for all the lies. Before leaving, I narrated the whole story to the girl sitting next to him. I told her to be careful because both men weren’t worth it.
Days later, George is back asking us to try again.
If I had dogs in my house, I would have unleashed them on him. I wouldn’t care what they would have done with his meat. Recently Dad called. He asked about George. I answered, “He’s no longer a friend. I’ll find a better man and bring him home.”
This chapter of my life is closed. George hasn’t given up but there’s no way I would allow such a timid man into my life. Communication is everything to me so what’s a man who can’t communicate his feelings? To me, he’s just a dead memory. Archived. Locked. Moving on to whatever life would throw my way.