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I am unsure whether to tell my brother-in-law that my sister cheated on him

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I am unsure whether to tell my brother-in-law that my sister cheated on him
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While there is a common understanding that events that occur at bachelor/bachelorette parties should remain confidential, my sister’s actions seem particularly egregious given the circumstances. Our party involved heavy drinking and various activities, and her infidelity with a stranger at the end of the night has left me feeling troubled.

My sister, who is one of my bridesmaids, along with my other bridesmaids and a few close friends, were all at the club when we witnessed her making out with a stranger multiple times throughout the night. All of my friends were aware that my sister is married, so her behavior left everyone feeling uneasy.

One of my friends, who I’ll refer to as Kate, has a strong sense of morality and was particularly disturbed by my sister’s actions. While I don’t recall all of the details since I was quite intoxicated, I understand that Kate confronted my sister in the club and criticized her for cheating on her husband and “ruining” my bachelorette party. My sister’s actions created an uncomfortable atmosphere within our group; you could feel the shift in the mood once we saw her grinding and making out with the stranger in front of us.

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After Kate confronted my sister about her behavior in the club, my sister found me and was in a state of distress. She was crying and apologizing profusely for what she had done, expressing that she felt like she had messed up and didn’t understand why she had acted the way she did. She went on to say that she was unhappy in her marriage and that her husband had previously mentioned wanting to leave her.

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Unfortunately, this wasn’t the first time that I had heard about the marital issues between my sister and her husband. Our family was aware that my brother-in-law was upset with my sister for going out and drinking excessively most weekends and sometimes even during the weekdays. My BIL is more of an introverted person and prefers staying at home, so he doesn’t enjoy going out with my sister and her friends to drink. He has become increasingly frustrated with her behavior, especially as they had talked about starting a family soon.

 

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After leaving the club, my sister and I returned to the Airbnb we had rented for the weekend. The following morning, my sister asked to speak with me in private. During our conversation, she expressed her frustration with Kate’s intervention the previous night, calling it “rude” and accusing my friends of having no right to judge her or her relationship.

I found it difficult to reconcile my sister’s current attitude with the remorseful and apologetic one she had exhibited the night before. However, given my sister’s tendency to quickly change her mind and her strong personality, I wasn’t entirely surprised by her behavior. She has a tendency to become easily upset when things don’t go her way and often insists on having the final say in any situation. Despite admitting that her actions were wrong, she appeared more annoyed than genuinely remorseful.

 

After the bachelorette party was over, my sister sent me a series of lengthy text messages expressing her remorse for her actions and apologizing for “ruining” the party. She mentioned that she planned to come clean to her husband about her infidelity and wanted to attend couples therapy to work on their relationship. In response, I simply acknowledged her apology and offered to be there for her if she wanted to talk. However, she requested that I keep her cheating a secret from everyone, including my fiancé and the other attendees of the party. Prior to her texting me, some of my friends had already expressed their discomfort with the situation, and I felt that the drama had detracted from the fun we were supposed to be having. It is worth noting that I had already informed my fiancé about the situation. The conversation ended with my sister stating that she would eventually confess to her husband and wanted to focus on her mental health and repairing their relationship before moving forward.

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It has been a few weeks since the bachelorette party, and recently, the narrator discovered that her sister and brother-in-law (BIL) are attempting to conceive a child. However, this has reignited the narrator’s concern about her sister’s infidelity, as she believes that they should work on their relationship before bringing a child into the world. Although the narrator likes her BIL and believes he is a good person who loves her sister, she worries that he may be hurt if her sister continues to keep him in the dark.

The narrator is unsure about what to do because while she believes it is not her place to tell her BIL about her sister’s infidelity, she also feels uncomfortable around him due to her sister’s secret. The narrator is caught between the desire to protect her BIL from potential harm and the sense of loyalty to her sister. Ultimately, the decision to disclose the information should come from the sister, but the narrator cannot help feeling uneasy and unsure about how to proceed.

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