My husband and I have been married for ten years, and we recently experienced a significant event in our lives when I gave birth to our child. During this period, we were not intimate, and I was focused on taking care of our newborn. However, a few weeks later, I found a text message on my husband’s phone that he had hidden from me. The message was dated two weeks after I gave birth and was from a coworker, who my husband claimed had marijuana for sale.
What concerned me about the message was the phrasing my husband used. He mentioned that the roommate was asleep and asked to be called when he arrived, which struck me as odd. If he was simply buying marijuana from a coworker, why did he need to be so quiet and request a call when he arrived? Additionally, a few days after the date of the text, when we tried to be intimate again, I noticed the taste of a condom, which was unexpected.
When I asked my husband about the text and the condom, he became defensive and agitated. He claimed that he went to his coworker’s house at 3:20 am to buy marijuana because it was difficult to purchase during his night shifts. However, I found his explanation hard to believe, especially given the suspicious phrasing of the text.
Another factor that complicates the situation is that my husband and I had been separated before this incident. He came back to me on Valentine’s Day to try and reconcile, but this text was sent on March 7th, a few weeks after he had returned home. Additionally, my husband is bisexual, which may or may not be relevant to the situation.
When I tried to get more information from my husband about the text and the condom, he became extremely defensive and started physically harming himself by punching himself in the head. His behavior was concerning, and he claimed that he was “punishing himself” for me and mocking me for thinking that buying weed was a big deal.
Overall, I’m struggling to understand what happened and whether or not my husband is being truthful with me. The text message and the condom taste raise suspicions, but I’m also worried about my husband’s behavior and what it might indicate.
After finding the text message, I felt extremely hurt and confused. It was a difficult time for us as a couple, as we were adjusting to the changes that come with becoming parents. However, I felt like my husband was hiding something from me and that our trust had been broken.
When I asked him about the text, he initially tried to brush it off and downplay its significance. He claimed that he had gone to his coworker’s house to buy marijuana and that the reference to the roommate being asleep was just to avoid waking him up. However, when I pressed him for more information, he became defensive and started lashing out.
At first, he raised his voice and became angry, accusing me of not trusting him and of being overly paranoid. When I still wasn’t satisfied with his answers, he started physically harming himself, punching himself in the head and yelling at me to leave him alone.
It was an extremely upsetting experience, and I didn’t know what to do. On the one hand, I wanted to believe that my husband was telling me the truth and that there was a logical explanation for everything. On the other hand, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off and that he was hiding something from me.
In the end, we decided to seek couples counseling to work through our issues and try to rebuild our trust. It was a difficult process, but with time and effort, we were able to move past the incident and strengthen our relationship. However, it was a stark reminder of how fragile trust can be and how important it is to communicate openly and honestly with your partner.