I recently had a big argument with my parents. They don’t understand why I’m angry and upset, so I want to know if other people think I’m wrong for feeling this way.
To explain what happened, when I was 15, my parents’ friend, who was 23 years old, started manipulating me. He was an alcoholic and abusive. By the time I turned 16, we were in a relationship. It lasted for two more years, and during that time, I felt scared and worthless. He made me cut off my friends and anyone who thought our relationship was inappropriate.
I felt extremely alone. My parents witnessed him yelling at me and being aggressive on multiple occasions. I once told my mom how he was treating me, but she responded by saying that I wasn’t perfect either. When I finally broke up with him, he threatened to kill himself, and knowing he had guns at his house, I ran to his parents for help, feeling hysterical. After our breakup, he smashed my car windshield because I started seeing other people, and my parents picked him up and let him stay at our place.
Fast forward six years, I have now found a wonderful husband who is understanding, kind, and loving. I also have great in-laws who have treated me like family since the beginning. We are expecting our first baby in November after struggling with two miscarriages for almost two years. Needless to say, this is a significant moment for us.
Throughout all this time, my parents have maintained a relationship with my ex-boyfriend. I have told them many times that it makes me uncomfortable, but they have ignored my feelings. They have even called my husband by my ex’s name multiple times, including last year.
We were planning my baby shower, and there’s only one weekend available for it because I have other events and baby showers surrounding that time. So we set the date.
Immediately, my mom asked if I could change the date because she had something else planned for that weekend. I explained that I couldn’t change it, but she insisted she would make it work. Just last week, I found out through someone else that they were planning to attend my ex’s wedding. I was hurt because they intentionally kept it from me, knowing I would be upset.
I confronted them about it, and they admitted it was true. My dad was planning to go, but my mom said she would attend my baby shower instead. I then asked if that’s why my mom asked me to change the date of the baby shower.
They went quiet, and eventually, my mom admitted it might be the reason. I asked if they thought it was appropriate, but they couldn’t see the problem. I told them that’s why I can’t trust them because they consistently prioritize others over me and lie about it. My dad got angry and started shouting, saying that if I can’t trust them, maybe they shouldn’t be in my life anymore. The argument escalated into a lot of shouting and yelling.
We ended the call, and my dad called me twice afterward, but I didn’t answer because I was already upset and knew we wouldn’t get anywhere. This morning, I woke up to a message from my mom blaming me and making it seem like I was the one cutting them out of my life, even though it was my dad who shouted that. I don’t know how to reply or if I should just leave it alone for now.