My husband and I are both Catholics, although he is more devout than I am. We dated for four months before he proposed, and we got married just two months later. It has been about 18 months since our wedding, and I must admit that our marriage has been quite challenging.
When we first got married, my husband wanted me to be a homemaker and not work outside the house. He believed that his income could fully support our needs, including our house and all the bills. However, I strongly disagreed with this idea because I knew I would feel isolated and restless if I stayed home all the time.
Additionally, my husband’s behavior towards cleanliness is extreme, and I suspect he may have undiagnosed OCD. If our house isn’t absolutely spotless, he becomes furious and insists that I clean the entire house, even late at night.
Despite this, now that I am working part-time, he has been somewhat less demanding. However, he still expects me to clean the entire house at least twice a week, as I have chosen to work part-time.
Now, let me share the incident that caused a problem. Yesterday, my husband surprised me with an unannounced visit to my workplace. While there, one of my male coworkers introduced himself to my husband and jokingly referred to himself as my “work husband.
” Personally, I found this somewhat inappropriate, especially considering that I had already mentioned to my coworker that my husband is uncomfortable with me interacting with other men. I’m not sure if my coworker was intentionally trying to create trouble or not.
My husband immediately took me aside and angrily asked, “Who the heck is that guy?” I explained that he was simply a coworker with whom I maintain a friendly, professional relationship. However, my husband demanded that I leave work immediately, threatening “major consequences” if I didn’t comply.
Feeling pressured, I informed my boss that there was a “family emergency” and had to leave. Thankfully, my understanding boss was not upset and allowed me to go.
When we arrived home, my husband and I engaged in a heated argument. During the course of the argument, he made a disturbing statement. He said that if I ever acted “flirtatious” with another man again, he would harm me. This shocking comment instantly ended our argument, and it left me deeply frightened and disturbed.
Since the argument, I have been sleeping in the guest bedroom and avoiding any contact with my husband. Surprisingly, he hasn’t made any attempts to reach out to me, nor has he apologized for his behavior.
I confided in my mother about what happened, and she dismissed it, saying that “men say things they don’t mean when they’re angry.” However, the way my husband said those words felt almost too serious to be taken lightly.
I am at a loss about what to do next, and I am seeking advice on how to proceed.