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I want to Settle Down but The Age Difference Between my Fiancé and I is Too Much. I am worried and Confused- Lady



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Kindly post this with my identity concealed and inform me when you do. I am in my final year studying business administration. My friend linked me up with someone, who according to her is a nice person. The guy stays in Kaduna and I have not seen him since we started dating. We speak frequently and from our conversations, he appears to be a nice person. It has been almost 8 months since we started talking and I am beginning to like him. After we spoke for the first time, he was quite honest about his age, job, family and all and since then I have been having some kind of doubts about whether things are really going to work with us. According to him, he is in his late thirties, 38 in particular and will be turning 39 next month. He is actually very nice but I have problems with the age difference.

I am 24 and the gap looks quite much. I have been expressing my uncertainty since the relationship started but he kept convincing me that age does not count that what really mattered was the love and understanding that exists between the both of us. He is nice, well mannered and cares so much about me. He calls me regularly and ensures that I do not lack anything. I was quite disturbed because I have heard stories of some people who married older partners and are facing challenges in their marriage so this kept drawing me back. I’ll always be skeptical about whether or not I was making the right decision. I had to talk to an old friend about it but she kicked against it and said it was not advisable. She reminded me of how I have other suitors who are well to do and young. She didn’t understand why I would go for an older person.

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There is this woman that I met last year. She was the landlady of the lodge I lived in before I moved to this new place. She is very nice and we bonded well. She often called me and sometimes I would go to her house to see her and her family. I decided to talk to her about it and I did. She explained to me some of the challenges I may encounter if I decided to push with the union. That regardless, she still gave me a lot of reasons why it was still a good decision. Some older people love their spouse more and go all the way out to care for them. Oftentimes, they are faithful having seen the greater parts of life, thus being more experienced had no time for games and going around to clubs, parties and the rest unlike young people who still have the vigour to do these and more all in the name of trying out new things and having fun.

She also reminded them that we would age differently and at some point, I would look way younger than him that people would ask if really I was his wife or daughter. Apart from that, he may develop certain diseases as he age and that would demand that I nurse him for the remaining days of life. She really said a lot of things and reminded me that in all these, love and understanding were the most important. Truthfully, I am confused. I have heard their various opinions but I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to feel like I am wasting my life. I have other suitors that are serious but I love this person more. I don’t want to look back at my life years later and regret my decisions. My cousin thinks I’m still young and would still see a better person who is young even if I don’t marry now. Please help me. I am confused.

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