I Have Not Accepted Him, But Anytime We Meet His Joystick Will Just Rise Up- Lady Narrates Experiences
We met three months ago. A mutual friend introduced us to each other. Looking back to how the whole thing happened, I’m tempted to believe that our meeting was a planned thing. The way he ran into us and how my friend did the introduction and how he picked it up from there, it looked more staged than a serendipitous encounter. My friend, Frances told me about him some months ago. She said, “A friend of mine is dying for you. He wants your number but I didn’t give it to him. I want your approval first.” I told her, “Please don’t give my number to anyone. I’m happy someone likes me but it doesn’t mean I should like the person back.” She said, “Oh, he’s a good guy ooo. I know him and he’s very responsible too.” I insisted, “I don’t want anyone to have my number. I’ve grown beyond that trick. He likes me, fine. I don’t like him.”
I didn’t want to see his photo or even know his name. A few weeks later, I was out with Frances when this guy came to join our table. It was a wedding reception. The tables were not reserved so anyone was at liberty to sit wherever they wanted. I saw him first and nodded to his greetings. Then Frances lifted up her head and started screaming, “Eiiii Roland, long time. Look at you. I didn’t believe you would come.” They hugged and he sat next to me. I didn’t say a word when they were talking but in the end, I was the one this guy chose to talk to. He asked me, “Can I be your friend? I know Frances already. Can I also know you?”
I got his number and he got mine. We met on three different occasions and each time we met Frances was there. Even the day he proposed to me, Frances was there urging me to say yes. I wasn’t going to be peer-pressured so I asked for some time. Honestly, he’s a cool man. His age doesn’t sit well with me but age is just a number so I don’t think too much of it. I asked him to give me some time to think about his proposal. Regardless of that, we meet often, I, Frances and him. We would go out, chill and later go to our individual homes. This is a guy I haven’t accepted his proposal but anytime we are together, his joystick bulges out of his flap.
I noticed it the very first day we hugged. He didn’t let go as quickly as I wanted to be let go. His hug was so tight his bulge came pressing my navel. When he finally let me off his embrace, I was embarrassed for him but he looked alright. I even told Frances about it and she said, “What do you expect? The guy likes you and it’s showing under his flap. This is nothing to be scared about. Man no be firewood.” I responded, “It’s just a hug. I’ve hugged hundreds of men and none had their groove on after hugging me, so why is he different?”
He called one Saturday morning. He asked me, “What would you be doing today?” I answered, “Nothing really.” He said, “Then let me come for you so we go and sit somewhere.” I obliged but asked if Frances could tag along. I called Frances that day and she said she had plans so she couldn’t make it. Roland came to my house around 5pm to pick me up. He got up from the car and opened the door for me. By the time he came to sit next to me in the car, he had a bulge on. “Ah, what is wrong with this guy? Am I improperly dressed? Am I showing too much skin?”
We ended up at the beach where there was a live band playing. I’m not a good dancer so when he asked me for a dance, I declined. He went to the dance floor alone. He later came to hold my hand and lifted me up to join him. Immediately I got up, he embraced me from behind and nudged me to the dance floor. His thing was already up and hard and he was using it to press me from behind. I started getting uncomfortable. I told him I wanted to go and sit down. He declined. I told him my shoes were hurting my feet and wanted to sit. He didn’t mind me. All he did was press his hard joystick against my butt.
When I finally gained my freedom and took my seat, he was still looking heavy under his flap. It got me thinking, “Is this guy genuinely in love with me or it’s just shuperu he’s looking for?” This is a guy I haven’t accepted his proposal yet. I’ve been with a number of men and I know how they behaved when they were waiting to hear yes from me. Roland is different. He’s not your regular guy who sits back and waits till you say yes. He communicates his intentions through a series of bulges. I decide to say no to him so all the heat around me would mellow. I spoke to Frances about it;
“He’s a fine man. I like his mind and how calm he is but I can’t trust his intentions.”
“How did you know his intentions? He’s just being a man in love. What you see should tell you that he’s 100% attracted to you. That should make you happy and not make you run away.”
“Well, I don’t interpret it the way you’re doing. At least, he should make an effort to hide it, especially when I haven’t accepted his proposal but no. He’ll make it hard and press it against my skin. Who does that?”
“So where are those men who didn’t develop a bulge when they were with you? If that’s what you’re using to measure how good a man is then you shouldn’t be single by now. He has fire for you. That’s all that matters.”
A few days ago he called. He asked me, “I’ve been waiting all this while to hear what you have to say. You still haven’t decided?” I said calmly, “No I haven’t. I’m still thinking about it. Just give me some more days to conclude.” He said, “I’m not going to ask you again but I’m here. Whenever you’re ready, let me know. If I don’t hear from you again, I would take it as a no and move on.”
He has stopped calling and texting. Whatever he used to do to get us connected, he has stopped doing them. He used to watch my Whatsapp status but he has stopped. I’ve been thinking a lot about the whole thing but it’s hard for me to say yes and it’s equally very hard for me to say no. I’m not a young girl to go out there and try a relationship. If I have to say yes, then I know it’s the last yes that takes me to the altar. At thirty, I don’t have the luxury to give trials to men but this guy gives me all the vibe of a man who isn’t serious about me. He’s too carnal for my liking. That notwithstanding, he has his positives too. He’s mature and has a reputable position where he works. he’s the kind of man who can take you today and marry you tomorrow. He has a very clean house and takes life seriously except for the bulge that never rests.
On a lighter note, it’s not also a small thing oo. It’s Anaconda size he wields there so I don’t know why he doesn’t cage it but rather let it loose whenever he’s with me. I’m kind of conflicted. If I listen to Frances, I will go and say yes to him right now. If I listen to myself, there’s a calm voice that says, ”Give it some time. There’s more to see and trust than just jumping into his trap.”
So I’m here today with a question. Has anyone here experienced something of that nature with a guy she hasn’t said yes to? Am I wrong to think that he’s being led by his bulge rather than by his mind? Does it look like something that can end well? You think when the bulge finally goes down, the love can continue to rise?
I have doubts. A lot of doubts. I don’t want to make a mistake with this one. Please help