She has the body of Nicky Minaj but the heart of Mother Theresa. That’s how I will describe Elaina. I remember the day I made my intentions known to my friends about her, they all screamed, “Eiiii, you’re going too far!” I said, “She’s not a tiger. She is not a demon. Why is she far? Is it because of the way she dresses? One of my friends said, “It’s not the dressing alone. Look at the kind of girl we are talking about here. Do you think she’s in your league?” I answered, “If she’s not in my league she will say no to me and I will park somewhere. She can’t kill me, can she?” Just when I thought I’d convinced them enough, Kobby said, “Let’s be honest here. Is this a woman you can go home with? You think your parents would be proud to see you with a woman like Elaina?”
He had a point but the heart is an idiot. It always misses the point. I didn’t listen to them. I approached her once and there was warmth in her reception. She said, “Good to see you. Do you have anything for me?” I said, “No, that’s not the reason I’m here. You look like a cool girl. Can we be friends?” She laughed, “Are you being serious here?” Is that the reason you came?” I answered, “Yeah, we are here and I see you often. I figured I could use a friend like you.” She said, “Ok take my number and call me. We can take it from there.”
My friends couldn’t believe it. They said, “Just like that? She didn’t look at you with disdain?” I answered, “You’re all judging a book by its cover. That’s where you err. I see something in her that you all don’t see. She’s only following her fashion sense but she’s not actually the way she dresses.” Kobby went on Instagram and pulled her profile. The rest gathered around his phone. He started assessing her looks nose after mouth. He said, “She has tattoos, do you see it?” One also said, “I don’t even think she has a dress for church. Look at her nose ring. The last person said, “But she’s hot. Bro, when she accepts, hit some and go your way. After all, not every relationship leads to marriage.”
We’ve dated for over a year now and I can hit my chest and say she’s the coolest woman I’ve ever encountered. She’s never angry. When there’s something she doesn’t understand she goes like, “So you did this and that and I don’t get it. Do you mind if you explain to me?” Sometimes I will lie to her and she’ll see through the lies. She’ll say something like, “I know you’re lying but there’s a reason for the lie. You lie because you know you did me wrong. Please don’t let it happen again.”
I met her mother once and I understood why Elaina behaves the way she behaves. She’s just like the mother. Elaina has piercings at the same spots her mother has her piercings. We are talking about six piercings on one ear lobe. They never wear anything that goes beyond their knees. They love to leave the body exposed. They call it freedom. Sometimes it’s to the extreme but that’s who she is so I don’t complain. Her family is so receptive to me that they treat me like one of their own. There’s some aura of joy when I’m in their midst.
Where the relationship is going, marriage is the next thing on the list. Left to me alone, I will marry her in a blink of an eye but you know this society we live in. A man can’t get married without the involvement of his parents. This brings my mind to what Kobby said right from the beginning; “Let’s be honest here; is this a woman you can take home to your parents?” I’ve been thinking about that phrase and making plans to ensure that my parents accept her the way her parents accepted me. It’s not going to be easy but a man has to do what a man has to do.
I told Elaina, “I would like to take you home to meet my parents.” She was happy and giggling until I said, “But you will have to tone it down a little bit when we are going. My parents don’t have the kind of exposure your parents have. They are quite conservative. If we meet them as you are, we’ll have problems. Would you do that for me?” She said yes. It blew me off the roof. She puts some clothes together and I realized she defined ‘conservative’ the wrong way. I said, “You can wear one earring.” She said, “But the holes would show so what’s the point?” I said, “You’ll wear something to cover the tattoos.” She said, “They’ll see it before we get married so what’s the point?”
In a nutshell, she brushed my concerns aside. She said, “Don’t let us paint me the way I’m not until they learn about me on their own terms. I would prefer to present myself the way I am. At first, they’ll have reservations but people change their minds when they get to know you for who you really are. They’ll accept me as time goes on.”
I know my parents, especially my mom. Even when ladies appear on TV and they are not well dressed she bashes them. My sister has had issues with her and I have had issues with her too on the way I dress. They won’t say yes to this relationship and that would cost me a lot. I know Elaina, she’s not the kind of woman who will force her way through issues because of marriage. When push comes to shove, she’ll tell me to go my way and leave her alone. She loves me, I know but she won’t sacrifice who she is for anyone, that she has already told me.
She discussed it with her mom and her mom told me the same thing, “It’s better they know her for who she is. I know mothers. They’ll accept you but when they realize you’re not who they thought you are, they’ll give you a tough time.” I said, “By that time we would be married so they can’t change anything.”
Because of this issue, our relationship has come to a standstill. One day my mom asked me about marriage and I said, “Just wait, I will bring you a hot half-cast very soon. You’ll love her immediately you set your eyes on her.” She said, “Don’t go and bring any abonkele woman here ooo. Bring honor home and not just any woman.” I felt it because I know what she was talking about.
My question is, what do I do now? Elaina is not pressing for marriage. She would love to marry me and she had said it countless times but her looks is what is blocking our journey to marriage. What should I say to convince her? Or I should just take her home and see what happens?