I dated Asare for three years before he started getting sick. Before his sickness, we were talking about marriage. I remember him talking with my dad and asking him how he should go about the knocking rite. My dad gave him all the process and even told him what he ought to do on the day of the knocking. My father was like a father to him because his own father died when he was just a boy. If there was something bothering his mind and needed fatherly advice, it was my dad he ran to. I loved the bond between them and it gave me the assurance that the future would be great.
A week after the knocking rite, he started complaining of dizziness. We will treat the dizziness and severe stomach ache will appear out of nowhere. For a whole month, we went in and out of various hospitals, but he wasn’t getting well. We resorted to herbal medicine, and he later got a little better. He was well for weeks until the whole sickness started again. We took him to the herbal center again. He was there for weeks but his situation got worse each passing day. One day his mother called to tell us that she knows a man of God who can help.
We took him from the herbal home and sent him to the church camp of that pastor. I was the one taking care of him through it all. I was cooking for him, helping him to bathe, and sometimes cleaning him up. When he was taken to the church camp, the pastor told me, “Don’t come around him when you’re in your menses. Don’t cook for him and don’t even come closer to him.” I obeyed. Every month when I was in my flow I didn’t go there. I went there after my flow one day and he told me, “No one gave me food since you were not coming. They starved me and no one cared about how I would bath or clean up.” I raised the issue with the pastor and he screamed at me; “Who are you to question what we are doing here? Do you know what we’ve been fighting against in the spirit just to keep him alive? Stay away from us.”
He stayed at the camp for three months before we saw improvement. One morning, I was visiting him at the camp when the pastor met me in front of the camp. He said, “No you can’t bring him food.” I asked why and he said, “Because I say so. Why are you doing this to him? Why are you trying to end his life? I was shocked. I thought the pastor was mistaken. I asked him, “What are you talking about? I’m his girlfriend. I’m the one taking care of him all this while. How can I end the life I’m struggling for him to keep? I tried going to where Asare was resting but the pastor screamed, “Stay where you are before I command the holy spirit to deal with you.” I looked at Asare. Immediately his eyes met mine, he turned away. I called him to say something but he was quiet. The pastor said, “We saw the hair you hid in his food. The hair that was supposed to end his life. God revealed it so he can redeem him from your trap.”
I was confused.”Me? Hair? What kind of hair is that?” According to what someone later told me, Asare picked a strand of hair from the food I sent him whiles eating. He called the junior pastors and showed it to them and they also sent it to the main pastor. That was when the issue began. So that day the pastor did not allow me to go in. He pushed me out and asked me not to come there again.
I told my father about it. He went there to confront the pastor and the Pastor said, “Your daughter is the reason for his suffering. He’s getting better without her so we don’t need her here.” It turned into a change of words. My dad called on Asare to say something. He just sat there and watched. I went to his mother to complain. Immediately she saw my face she frowned. She didn’t want to listen to me. She said, “My son is doing well without you. Just stay away.” I asked her, “So you believe what the pastor is saying? You think I can take care of your son and still kill him?” She said, “You gave him hair to eat. You wanted to finish him through that hair but God came through for us. Stay away from us.”
Everything felt like a dream. How would they all believe that I’m trying to kill my own boyfriend? Someone I’ve been taken care of for months. I told his mother; “I’ve been living with Asare for the past three years. When his sickness started, I was the one paying hospital bills. How can you believe what the pastor is saying? I can’t do it and you should know it.” She said, “Only you can answer that.”
I tried my best to get to Asare by phone. I called his lines several times, he didn’t pick. I sent him messages but the response never came. All access to him was blocked. While I was struggling to get in, Asare did nothing to meet me halfway. Two weeks later, I went to his mother again to register my concerns with her. That was when I realized that Asare was home with her. He was looking fit and cheerful. Immediately he saw me, he went inside their room. I followed him there. I said, “Asare, what’s going on? I need to hear from you. Do you believe what the pastor is saying? Do you believe I’m responsible for your situation? I’ve been paying your bills. I’ve been buying food for you. I was there to clean you up. After all these, you believe I have evil intention against you?”
He said, “I’m not the one saying it. It’s the pastor. I don’t see what goes on in the spiritual realm. He sees it so I can’t disbelieve what he sees.” I asked, “So you believe what he said he saw? You don’t think he’s human and can make mistakes? I’m not evil. I’ve loved you since the beginning. That’s why I’ve gone out of my way on several occasions to help when you needed someone to help you. Believe me, I can’t hurt you.” He said, “It’s not for me to say.” I asked, “So what do you say? That it’s over?” He answered, “It’s the will of God that we go our separate ways. Maybe you didn’t do it but the one who tried to end me used you as a vessel. He can use you again, that’s why God is trying to put us apart.”
I realized I couldn’t convince him. His mind was already made up. His mother was there stocking fire into the issue. I said my bye-bye and left them. My dad was very angry but he said, “Don’t force yourself into what cannot be. Try and move on too.” It hurt but I tried. It took me so long to move on but finally, I did. Two years later, he got married to a lady he found in that pastor’s church. I learned he had been made an elder of the church and was a very strong member of the church. Seeing him marry someone else hurt a little but I told myself, “This too shall pass.”
Two months ago, he called me. He asked how I was doing and I said I was doing well. I asked why he called and he said, “You came to mind so I decided to check up.” I said, “Thanks a lot but it wasn’t necessary.” I told him not to call me again if it wasn’t about something important. Early September this year he called me again. He said, “I need a loan.
I’ve asked everyone and they all said no. You’re the only one left now. If you say no to me, I’m dead. I lost my job during the lockdown and I haven’t had any job. I need help. Please help.” I asked him, “How about your wife? Is she not working?” He said “Hmmm. It’s a long story.” I said, “Too bad but I can’t help. I’m not in the situation to offer anything. He begged and begged but I wasn’t ready to do anything to help.
As I’m writing this, he keeps calling my line every now and then, asking for help but I’m scared helping him will rather end his life than restore it, so I’ve decided not to do anything to help him. Am I being too harsh?