We met through a friend. I don’t know what I saw in her that night that made me like her. Maybe it was the way she was dressed and how she carried herself about. It was our first time seeing each other but she spoke to me like she knew me. When she went for a drink she asked if I cared for one. If I said I didn’t, she asked if there’s something else she could get me. It was fun while we were together. After the program, I told my friend, “Your girl is such a nice person. Does she have a boyfriend?” The first thing my friend asked me was, “Do you have money? That girl is all about money ooo so if you’re not ready to spend then don’t get closer to her.”
I heard what he said but I saw the girl differently. I saw a friend in her. I saw a caring human being in the way she interacted with me. I told myself, “There’s no harm in trying. If she accepts to date me and she’s truly in love with me, I don’t think she’ll ask me to put the moon on a plate for her. After all, love doesn’t cost a thing.”
I went ahead and took her number. I told her I would like to be her friend: “I like how you treated me today. You look like a great person. I would like to know you more.” She smiled. She said, “That’s no problem. I will like to know you too.” You don’t waste time when it’s about a woman you want so that very night when I got home I called her. She was very receptive. We talked about the night and the fun we had in the presence of each other. I asked about her life. Her job. Any other thing that came to mind. She was kind enough to respond to all the questions I had.
A week later we decided to have a date. I got there and she was there with two other friends. She introduced them to me and asked, “Do you mind if they stayed with us? From here, we are going to visit one of our friends in the hospital. I don’t want them to leave without me.” I didn’t want to have them around. They were a distraction. Their presence dulled the moment and had it not been curtsy, I would have asked them to excuse us. I responded, “Oh they can stay. I don’t mind.”
It’s always those you didn’t invite that order the expensive things on the menu. We couldn’t have any meaningful discussion until the night was over. I paid three times the budget I set for the night. I didn’t mind. Anything to make her happy and make her warm to the idea of dating me. I paid without complaint. They left with toothpicks stuck in between their teeth doing fst-fst-fst.
We continued talking. She’ll wake up and be the first to text me. In the night, she was the last person to wish me a good night. The sun was shining so I decided to make hay. I proposed to her one evening and she asked me to give her some time to think about it. A week later, I called for feedback. It was there she told me she was healing from a fresh heartbreak so I should give her more time to heal. That led to a whole new conversation about how her ex cheated on her and stole her money. She said, “Honestly, I don’t trust guys these days. It will take a lot of courage for me to date again.”
I put on my thinking cup and tried my best to let her know that I’m a different guy. A different breed of guy who picks shattered heart from the floor and mends it with super glue. When the cracks become too visible, I polish the heart with sandpaper and make the joints aligned with each other so I can give it acrylic polish to cover the scars. “Dear, give me the chance to heal your hurt. You know people come into your life for a reason. Mine is to heal and keep.” She acted swayed and kept saying “awww” but in the end, she asked for more time.
We fixed another date. I wanted her to come to my place but she said it was too early to come around. She chose another place in town for us to meet. Again, she came with her friends. This time they were not visiting a sick friend. She said, “Just when I was leaving the house, they came to visit. I couldn’t leave them there alone so I decided to come along with them.” I called her on the side and said, “You know, this is the moment we give ourselves so we can talk about the things happening in our lives. We use this time to know each other. We can’t talk about us when they are around?” She said, “Oh don’t worry. There’s nothing about me that they don’t know. We can talk about everything in their presence. There’s nothing to worry about.”
Again they kept the order coming. One of the girls said she was full so she ordered drinks and asked the waiter to do a takeaway for her. When it was time to leave, I paid for what we ate.” She said, “You’ve forgotten the one my friend is taking home?” I said, “She’ll pay for that one. It’s her personal order.” I realized she wasn’t happy but I didn’t care. I had to do something to stop them from coming. They put their heads together. They paid through MoMo and we left.
When I got home I called to ask if she’s home. Her answers sounded like someone who was angry. I knew it was because of what happened so I decided to give her no mileage to express her disappointment. It went on for days. She stopped calling. She only answered when I called. She didn’t respond to text like she used to. Everything she did point to the fact that she was not happy with me. I finally asked her, ”Tell me. What’s the problem?” She was like a fountain with excessive water. She ranted about how I embarrassed her in front of her friends and how her friends are not happy with me. She ended by saying, “How would they like you enough to convince me to like you too? That’s not how you treat women you go out with.”
That’s when I remembered the question my friend asked me: “Do you have money?” That girl is all about money ooo.” I called my friend and narrated the story to him. He said, “I told you but you won’t listen. Does she look like a girl who doesn’t have a boyfriend?” I responded, “She told me her boyfriend left her a few weeks ago.” My friend asked, “So you believe her? Well, I’m not the one to tell you that the fetish priest’s teeth are red. Decide for yourself what you want to believe in but remember that I know her better than you do.”
So I called her and asked, “What should I do to pacify your friends? I want to make peace with them.” She laughed. She said, “I know you’re a good person. I know you’ll do the right thing. Wait, I will talk to them first and get back to you. If you like, we can go on a date with them so you prove yourself to them.”
She started asking for money. I told her I would give her the next time we meet since she won’t come to my house. She asked why not MoMo. I told her I would prefer to meet her and give it to her.
We had been talking for over three months but I hadn’t met her anywhere else apart from an eatery where she could come with her friends. Because of the money, she started arranging things quickly for us to meet.
Another night. Another date with her friends dressed like they were on an important mission. The one who ordered the takeaway the other time hugged me and said she had no hard feelings. “I can’t fight my sister’s man,” She said. They started ordering while we talked. Things on the menu always look appealing when you’re not the one paying for them. They picked and chose what their tastebud desired. In the middle somewhere I delivered my final speech. I told her, “I know you don’t like me and you don’t like to be in a relationship with me. That’s alright. I can’t force you to like me but don’t pretend with me just to make me waste my money. Maybe you don’t love me yet but if you had a little care for me, you’ll protect my wallet. If you love a man, you love his finances too.”
I called the waitress, paid for mine, and said good night to them.
She ran after me to the entrance. She said, “I thought I told you to give me some time? Why would you do this to me in front of my friends? What kind of attitude is that? No, you can’t walk away. Sit down and let’s talk things over. Maybe you don’t understand my fears. Let’s have a conversation.” She was there when I picked a taxi and left. By the time I got home, she had sent me a long Whatsapp message insulting me and my family. She cursed the day she met me and said, “Any man who treats a lady like you’ve done will suffer in life, mark it on the wall.”
The next day, my friend sent me a screenshot of a message she sent to him calling me a villager and ill-mannered person. All of that didn’t bother me. I needed to communicate my feelings to her and I did it the best way I could. She was my lesson. I wanted to also be her lesson. Both of us needed to learn a thing or two. I needed to learn to listen to advice. She also needed to learn how to treat a man she doesn’t love right. We taught each other a lesson.
She blocked me. I moved on to places where I would get a woman to say yes to me and mean it.