My Wife Has Refused to Return Until the “Problem” Is Resolved, But There Is More To It

My wife has been absent for approximately a week now, having taken our two children to stay with her parents. Her decision was based on the belief that our home is currently unsafe for them.

The incident that triggered this was when our daughter unexpectedly found a firearm in our oldest son’s room.

Unfortunately, I was not present when this occurred, but according to my wife’s account, she discovered our daughter holding the gun while she was trying to retrieve her from our son’s room. The situation left my wife in a state of panic, prompting her to hastily gather our son and their essentials before leaving.

As a parent, I’m deeply concerned about this situation. I am completely unaware of how my son obtained the gun, and despite my attempts to find out, he remains uncooperative.

Over the past year, he has become increasingly distant and has associated himself with a troubling group of friends.

I am genuinely worried about his well-being and the negative influence they may have on him. It’s disheartening to witness his once positive circle of friends gradually dwindle until he became entirely immersed in this new group.

They engage in unlawful activities, regularly skip school, and even partake in drug dealing. Regrettably, my efforts to reach out to him and address these issues have been met with resistance.

I have contemplated various strategies and sought professional help, including consulting psychiatrists and multiple therapists, but thus far, nothing has yielded positive results. In fact, the situation seems to worsen with each passing day. I had hoped that this incident would serve as a wake-up call for my son, making him realize the potential consequences of his negligence when it comes to his younger sister’s safety. However, he continues to lie, deny any involvement, and adamantly refuses to answer my questions. To ensure his presence at home this week, I have been working remotely, but even so, he refuses to comply.

Reluctantly, I am left with one final option that I have been avoiding: allowing him to go and live with his mother in another country. However, I am hesitant to take this step because I don’t want him to feel abandoned or rejected.

I have exhausted almost all avenues of communication and intervention, desperately trying to understand what is happening with him.

It feels as though all my attempts thus far have been in vain. I am pleading for any additional suggestions or advice on how to break through to him and help him understand the severity of the situation.