Real Life Stories
I’m a Muslim and a Christian Guy Wants to Marry me, But There is a Problem
This situation is very important and I really need a way out. I am 26 and I would be finishing my youth service very soon. I graduated from Usman Danfodiyo university Sokoto with a First Class in the department of Economics. While I was in school, I was dating this guy who was very nice to me.
We started dating when I was in second year and even though we were just students and uncertain about what life had in store for us, I loved him deeply and was very willing to walk through life’s uncertainties with him. Along the line, I heard a rumor that he was seeing another girl.
He was the only child of his family and he was from a wealthy home. On the other hand, my family was just comfortable. We had enough to eat and drink but we wouldn’t be regarded as wealthy. Later on, I heard that he had plans of getting married to the girl. All these while, he was avoiding me. After some time, we met and of course, I asked for explanations regarding all the rumours I’ve heard.
He confirmed he was seeing someone else because his family insisted. We finally broke up and honestly, that incident spoilt my perception of Muslim guys notwithstanding the fact that I’m a Muslim too. Even till I graduated, I stayed away from Muslim guys because I was very traumatized from the experiences in my previous relationship. My mom and my family generally was aware and they helped me to recover. After school, I was posted to an Eastern state for my compulsory one year youth service. I was posted to Anambra State where I was opportuned to meet other guys. I met another Muslim guy who although was nice with was full of himself, he came from a rich home and wouldn’t stop bragging about so many things. He was rich, no one would argue that but he was always ready to make you feel inferior although some other people that knew him said he doesn’t do it intentionally.
He was always talking about his father and his several companies. If that’s not enough, he would talk about how he has traveled to different countries while growing up. It was just too much and I couldn’t wrap my head around the whole thing. In the camp, I also met an Igbo guy who was a Christian. We vibes together. He was polite, nice, humble and good-looking. He was soft spoken and was always willing to listen to people. We got very close in the camp and even after our two weeks stay, we still continued speaking. We were posted to different locations for the one year primary assignment. Both guys kept calling me and we were very good. I was in the same location with my Muslim friend while the Igbo boy was posted in another location that isn’t so far from where we were staying. Both of them have made their intentions known to me and I don’t even know what to do about it.
I have told my mom because I am very close to her. I really do not like the Muslim guy so much to marry him but for the Other guy, he is everything I want in a man. He gives me peace of mind and I can’t help but fall in love with him. My mom is of the opinion that I should go for the Muslim guy because it will be easier for us to coexist since we share the same religion. I have tried to explain to her so many times that I don’t love him enough to marry him but she keeps insisting that he is the best option for me.
I know that she is doing all that because of the religion and also because he was from a wealthy home. I don’t want her to make the decision for me but she won’t give up. Apart from her, my dad is a strong Muslim and I don’t know how he will react. I know he will refuse and I don’t know how I will handle that because my dad is so difficult. I really don’t know what to do. I love the Christian guy more. How do I convince my parents?
Fred Khaemba
April 18, 2024 at 11:26 am
Parents are good friends,listen to them and live long,they can’t give you a snake when you ask them for fish,,but for spiritual matters,just listen to the spirit carefully and mediate,God of heaven will reveal himself to you, he’s full of love, compassion and forgiveness,, good day
Jordy
April 18, 2024 at 12:14 pm
Sorry, you CANNOT convince your parents. They will never accept you marrying a Christian.
Isa
April 19, 2024 at 6:16 am
I can see that you want to tell your dad that he made a mistake by giving you good education go ahead and denounce your Islamic faith and marry your choice time shall tell.
Isa
April 19, 2024 at 6:16 am
I can see that you want to tell your dad that he made a mistake by giving you good education go ahead and denounce your Islamic faith and marry your choice time shall tell.
TrustedInGod
April 19, 2024 at 6:22 am
Follow your heart. Jesus said I am the way the truth and the life ,no one cometh to the father except through me.
Hilary Obi
April 19, 2024 at 7:10 am
You’re leaned, experience they said is the best teacher. You have tried the Muslim guys and it doesn’t work, now you see somebody you love and believed that two of you can stay together forever. Your parents have leave their lives and about go, don’t compromise in a relationship because you’re the one to suffer later but if you want to be unhappy and make your parents happy all is left for you, this is for life. May the Almighty God touch the mindset of your parents to reason with you too because is for life. God bless you
SOLOMON THE KING
April 19, 2024 at 7:21 am
You been a Christian marrying a Muslim is not the problem the problem here is that politicians had successfully made us believe that we are not the same because of religion and that’s why most parents believed in that but if you guys loves each other very well you both can move to other countries and get married after some years the both parents will come together to look for peace but make that parents guys see your parents and hear from them before you guys depart to other countries thanks
Terra
April 19, 2024 at 7:48 am
Your parents won’t be in the marriage with you, marriage is a lifetime thing, many Christians and Muslims have married their marriage are okay, Don’t let persuasion allow you marry a proud man, it won’t last… Try looking for a weak spot in your parents, then use it to talk to them
Anthony Samuel ikojo
April 19, 2024 at 7:54 am
Just follow your heart girl. In the long run, you are the one to live your entire life with him.
Igwe Ani
April 19, 2024 at 8:27 am
The issue of destiny in life u re to decide and not ur parents.ur parents will not be there forever for u when life turn the other way round. My advice to u is this, if u have accepted to follow the Igbo guy like Ruth in d Bible denounced her religion to serve d true God do likewise & u won’t regret it. Go for ur peace and the end shall peace.
James Noid
April 19, 2024 at 8:29 am
Love for each other is the most and very thing in a relationship. Listen to what your heart is speaking to you and if you are ready to embrace to Christianity, your future life may bring the rest of your family members to your new found faith even.
James Oguta-Noid
April 19, 2024 at 8:31 am
Love for each other is the most and very thing in a relationship. Listen to what your heart is speaking to you and if you are ready to embrace to Christianity, your future life may bring the rest of your family members to your new found faith even.
OLA
April 19, 2024 at 8:34 am
Since you Love the other man, who’s a Christian, please follow whom you loved. Your parents won’t live with you on your husband’s house. Your destinies is in your hands. If you failed eventually in
timothy stephen
April 19, 2024 at 8:59 am
Humble talks to your Daddy, and Your mom to understand your feelings about all,it is your life and your happiness that matters, also follow your heart and pray to God Almighty to help you through, because marriage is not about your Muslim or others.
Your life first.
Pere Godwin
April 19, 2024 at 9:06 am
My Sister go for your heart. Also pray to God for direction and let him lead you. There’s nothing wrong even though both of you are from different faith if you of you are destined to be together nobody can change it.
I pray for the both of you. Let the will of God be done. If you truly love him go for him and God Almighty will give you his backing. All the threats will be taken care of. God bless your union in Jesus Mighty Name.Amen!
Shuaib Muhammad
April 19, 2024 at 9:19 am
In as much as you believed to be a Muslim means you’re to married a Muslim as your husband because that’s the ruling according to your religion.
Jamilu Haruna
April 19, 2024 at 9:44 am
Am really sorry for you sister, summit everything to Almighty Allah for the best choice.
Abubakar Muhammed
April 19, 2024 at 10:00 am
Do create problem for your self go for your Muslim brother he knows how you are to be treated and love is developed you will love him with time also tell him to stop bragging about his rich that you don’t like it it’s God that gives Richie’s .
Alhassan Danjuma Aliyu
April 19, 2024 at 10:18 am
Assalamu Alaikum, our humble Muslim sister 4 been frank enough to share your present predicaments. My candid suggestion is you are at peak of detaching yourself from ur parents who did everything to get u educated to this level. Your parents will be the last to hurt you, avoid joining another man in marriage, with their unhappiness, particularly that ur mom is involve. As a Muslim follow ur parents counsel, and you will be blessed by Allah.
Sariki
April 19, 2024 at 11:02 am
Goodday Haneef, I would attempt to offer an opinion based on your statement of not knowing what to do.
I will start by shedding more light on some preliminary concepts.
Love is good, and said to be everything. To an extent that seems true. But in the concept of ever changing complex situations the human race faces in today’s world , it’s meaning can be modified accordingly .
You’ve heard of love being a decision and not a feeling.
Anyone can be loved. Once they equip themselves with information about your preferences ,you could be attracted. But we know that love at this initial stage isnt enough(everything )
We need to bring in logic, there’s the need to forecast the future , answer the difficult questions and create models of impossible scenarios in a bid to ascertain devotion and commitment, which true love depicts.
Questions such as:What religion would your first son or children follow? Who dictates this? Has such discussions been hitherto agreed and documented? Possibly signed by both partners!
This becomes crucial due to the ever changing nature of the human personality.
Marriage has a mirage of challenges , it’s a school on its own, let alone to be grappling with basic foundational issues (Religion) you could have sorted out much earlier if you had knowledge.
Hence it is important to now note that relationship love is volatile. People fall in and out of love rapidly.You don’t always love your partner the same way you met with them at the onset. It is a conscious daily work to ignite and sustain that fondliness; that love.
And so you must safeguard your heart. If you are to go with one of a different religion, ask some basic questions, agree on the key terms , document them and have your partner sign off with dates. Similarly, this could also apply with that partner of the same religion, who could always pick another spouse which is within the rule of that religion.
Secondly , it is important to people change under different conditions.Some don’t know how to handle ‘lack of Money, infidelity’ etc As such abinitio, you need to be objective about your needs, goals and aspirations and discuss these at the onset and ensure to keep these records.
Thirdly, a parents counsel should be taken seriously for beyond any external influence, they love you unconditionally and want the best for you. A counsel to pursue the same religion as your partner is a foundational requirement for a hitch free co existence.Instructions from a loving parent is divine and should never be overlooked. Rather if in disagreement,present your case in an intelligent manner to get their buy in and be convinced. This is crucial , for either way the marriage turns out, your family would always be by your side to offer support crucial to your timely recovery. FAMILY IS SAID TO BE EVERYTHING.
Fourthly, Money is good. It is said to answer all things. Having a partner thats blessed with wealth or from a wealthy background is a privilege. But real wealth isn’t just about money alone,but character, culture,lineage health/spiritual trends,profession, personal ethics, tradition etc.
Hence just selecting the rich partner based on his/her bank balance isn’t wise.You have to work hard at gathering the aforementioned crucial information.
Fiftly you must seek knowledge,from those that have been successful in marriage. Whatever option you opt for, there are successful couples that exist in the Nigeria/world today. Seek them and reach out to them. Learn from them. Read books relating to these to get knowledge and hence get wisdom. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.
Finally , after all these, the decision is solely yours and no oneelses. Make the decision and stand by it totally,having all the wisdom to see you through life’s uncertain path.
Basically an unwritten rule today in selecting a life partner , is to choose the option with the lesser WAHALA as compared to the other. Which presupposes that every one has its own troubles.Make a list of them and compare.It is which prospects summation of issues you are willing to cope with that scores a pass mark.
Love is beautiful ,and should be experienced by all. Marriage on the other hand is healthy and can be blissful as long as both partners remain committed to its agreed goals and to each other. Committed couples are blessed in geometric proportions. The rewards are always highly potent as compared to being single.
May Allah guide your knowledge gathering exercise and eventually decision.
God bless.
Shade
April 19, 2024 at 11:34 am
I will advice you not to marry the Christian guy because it is not acceptable in Islam for a lady to marry a Christian guy and if you did not like the Muslim guy, i think you should move forward and definitely you will see a Muslim guy that you will like
Ellie sees
April 19, 2024 at 12:02 pm
It’s good to listen to your heart and feelings but on the other hand the reason why the probability of your parents denying you may Al’s be of a bad impact with that Christian guy,,,all in all ask your Allah to guide you
Chukwuka Eze
April 19, 2024 at 12:35 pm
Stop all the playing an chose your choice
Cherop sheibu
April 19, 2024 at 3:11 pm
Follow your heart
Cherop sheibu
April 19, 2024 at 3:11 pm
Follow your heart
Namutego Patrick Andrew
April 19, 2024 at 6:25 pm
Marriage is life deciding issue,you can’t involve, any third party to decide for you,in spite thefact that,your parents are Muslims,wo’nt be with u in your home.mind about your heart and your love,love is personal.and your different from your parents, choose wisely,be blessed.
Salami. Kamilu. Sekore
April 19, 2024 at 9:05 pm
If you think of future you better take Muslim guy and if you take other guy it means you want to become. Christian.The right and best choice us to take Muslim guy
Ayuba Mohammed
April 19, 2024 at 11:26 pm
My sister is for u to pray very well for the best for you give aims to the needy with the intention of the best husband for u both going for the christian guy to me is not the right decisions because of ur children including ur faith also because if are not careful u will fail.
Habib
April 20, 2024 at 9:04 am
Your mother is right. Islam prohibits Muslim girls from marrying person from any other religion, but it’s ok for the men to marry girls from among Jews and Christians referred to as people of the book.
This world isn’t an everlasting abode, therefore you forget your heart’s desire and accept your mum’s position. In addition commit the Muslim guy to istikhara and follow the direction therefrom. May Allah guide you🙏
Adams Issah Nartey
April 20, 2024 at 5:47 pm
This is not a big deal.As u explained u are a Muslim both the family. Listen it is possible to change white to be black. Ur Muslim guy is better for you if only ur Faith is in ur Religion and u believe in ur worship. The Muslim guy only we say he is pompous which can change by advices or other ways.ALLAH WILL PROVIDE. SLAAMU ALEIKUM.🌦️
Abdulqodir Abubakir Sidiq
April 20, 2024 at 7:25 pm
Ask yourself the following questions and if you are satisfied with it , you can follow your mind. 1.why are you a Muslim? 2. On what base can you change your religion and does it worth it? 3.which religion will you be doing after you marry ? 4. Your future children,which religion would they be doing? 5.with your beuty , education and age , are those two guys your last hope in life? 6. If you end up choosing a decision that against your parents wish , what will be the consequence? I reserve the rest valuable questions. Best of luck
Muhammad Nazifi Aminu
April 21, 2024 at 7:27 am
To the best of my knowledge, I think you should abandon both of them and pray hard to God Almighty Allah for the best opportunity and time but not those ones.
Never be disappointed and discouraged just because one attitude or the other. God knows why such disappointment.
Blame no one but test and destiny.
Nura Idris Gumel
April 21, 2024 at 10:23 am
Please be imformed that Islam dose not allow muslim woman to marry a christian man, you look for a good and humble muslim husband
Yunusa A Sale
April 21, 2024 at 1:07 pm
Your choice or your decision is the best option not based on religion or materialism but on true love. Based on your religious fate it would not be easy with your parent or some close relation of yours. The way out depends on your self conviction, boldness, fearlessness and courage bcz you would surely face their wrath,dislikes, hatred, persecution, punishment,if you there go for the igbo guy which is uncalled for.Incase it happens kindly email me
on the way out
Musani Nuhu Oricha
April 21, 2024 at 6:59 pm
You are the one that is difficult and not your father and again you are pretending to be Muslim.
Maimunat Yusuf
April 21, 2024 at 7:14 pm
My dear go with your own decision you are to live with your husband not your parents,your parents have lived there Life don’t allow them to make you to do mistakes.
awute emmanuel
April 21, 2024 at 9:01 pm
My suggestion for you will be that you go for the person you prefer. You are grown enough to make decisions for yourself and choose the person you will spend the rest of your life with,that is the most important decisions that no man on earth can make for you.
The person you marry in life determine how far you will go in life. So please, religion or tribal sentiment has no bases to the person you choose as a husband. Make your intention known to your parents and patiently wait for their approval which is very important too in marriage.
Take someone that understands you and can give you peace of mind. You must remember that money does not give peace or joy but the person that loves you and can do any thing to make you happy.
So please, choose wisely and may God help you.
Emeka
April 22, 2024 at 9:27 am
Is a free world, both christian and Muslim are one just let them understand your happiness because that’s the most lmportant thing. I dated a girl as well though she’s a Christian but a Jehovah witness but am not she said she can’t marry outside their beliefs or if she does that the family will disown her which I quit but today she married a Catholic of my faith and she totally apologized to me after the incident. My dear follow your mind.
Kakonge Gonzaga Aloysius
April 22, 2024 at 2:55 pm
Go on with your choice
Fairmonie
April 23, 2024 at 7:47 pm
My dear sister I’m a Christian, but I’m saying tribalism should play here, no, we all are one. So, peace of mind is what everyone wants in marriage, so please talk to your mom abt your happiness in you marrying your love 🌹 and the consequences in pushing you to her own choice as it will affect ur peace, emotions, happiness etc. religion is not important here but what you both and how real it is.
Braxey Wayne
April 23, 2024 at 9:04 pm
The only way is to stand on your feet and just to make things work better, you and the guy have to play a game where by the boy has to convert for a mean time and accept everything and if you have succeeded after a while he goes back to his religion coz by that time will find when you have produced at least one child
John joe
April 26, 2024 at 8:28 am
You have your life to live, though a very hard decision. As a Christian I will advice you to take it to God in prayers both you and the Christian guy. This is just what has divided us as a nation, but I tell you with God all things are possible. I wish you peace.
MUYIWA OSIDIPE
April 29, 2024 at 6:45 am
Christianity and Islam are two different faith
Sincerely l would have advised you to go on with Christian lover but a lot to be considered
Can you embrace Christianity and ignore Islam totally?
if your man tells you he is not bothered if you still practice lslam after marriage is a lie my young lady
Be patient it is my considered opinion that you will find very humble respectful from a very good home Muslim that you will even prefer than your present Christian lover
don’t rush don’t do anything rash because marriage is a life time venture
ALMIGHTY GOD will help you
khamis rashid
May 2, 2024 at 1:59 am
Allah is so important than your christian guy.Fear Allah
Charity
May 4, 2024 at 7:10 am
Seek God first he is the answer
INUSA SHAMMAHGI
May 4, 2024 at 4:40 pm
Young graduate I’m a muslims from Nasarawa State would you marry me?