I Don’t Like my Sister, out of all the Mean People I’ve met, She’s The One I Hate The Most

I really, really don’t like my sister. I’m 19 now, and out of all the mean people I’ve met, she’s the one I hate the most. Since we were little, she’s always enjoyed making me unhappy. I’ve always been a bit clueless and awkward because of my ADHD and autism, and she used that to hurt me. She would call me fat to upset me, team up with my younger sisters to pick on me, and find any little thing that made me feel bad about myself.

Once, she even tried to drown me and stab me with scissors. Things got even worse when I was bullied in secondary school. I started feeling really sad and my grades dropped. And it seemed like she was happy about it. Being seen as “smart” isn’t all great, and when I got depressed, it hit me really hard. That’s when I started fighting with my parents too. They think she hates me because of our arguments, but I think she’s hated me from the moment she was born.

As we got older, things only got worse. She would make fun of my sadness, tell me to hurt myself, laugh at my mistakes, and say mean things to me all the time. I tried to ignore her most of the time, even though she made me so angry. Sometimes, I would say mean things back to her just to make her stop, but I never started the fights. It’s been going on for more than five years now. She did say sorry to me a few years ago, but it didn’t change anything. She went back to being mean soon after. One memory that sticks with me is when she came into my room after a big fight with our dad.

She asked me for something, and when I said I didn’t have it, she kicked me in the back and laughed at me while I was crying. A couple of years ago, she went through a tough time too. The popular mean girls she hung out with left her. I didn’t feel bad for her at all. I actually thought she deserved it. She got depressed, just like I did before, and I secretly enjoyed watching her suffer. While I was going through the same thing, my family spoiled her. My aunt treated her like a princess, and my mom spent so much time with her, doing fun things together.

Meanwhile, I was all alone in my room most of the time. It hurts to see how much they love her and how little they care about me. It just makes me hate her even more. I’ve never felt this much anger and hate towards someone before. I’ve never hurt her physically, but with each new mean thing she does, I want to hurt her more and more. I want to hit her and make her feel pain until she leaves me alone. But somehow, I’ve managed to stop myself. We’re still young, both teenagers, so maybe things will change in the future.

But I can’t see anything good in her. Even though I have proof of how mean she is, she never gets in trouble. She never stops. When I talked to my mom about it, she told me not to talk about my sister that way. She said my sister is a part of her, and when I asked why she didn’t react the same way to my sister’s cruelty, my mom cried and told me to leave her alone.

So now, I’m just waiting. When I’m able to leave home, I won’t ever see my sister again. I’ll still keep in touch with the rest of my family, but she’ll be the one person I cut off completely. I don’t care if she cares or not. It’ll be like I never even existed. I wouldn’t even go to her