Having cancer once is a harrowing experience, but being diagnosed again can be overwhelming. When I received the news of my vaginal cancer, I was devastated. It’s hard to describe the feeling of being told that you have cancer again. It’s like you’re hit by a truck, and everything seems to come crashing down on you.
One of the effects of my previous chemotherapy was the loss of my hair. Losing my hair was a visible reminder of my cancer battle, and it made me feel self-conscious. However, as time passed, I realized that having short hair empowered me, and it became my signature look.
Despite being diagnosed with cancer again, I tried to stay positive and live life as normally as possible. My brother’s visit was an opportunity for me to forget about my illness for a while and enjoy time with family. However, his girlfriend’s comments brought me back to reality.
I understand that she didn’t mean to hurt me, but her comments hit a nerve. When she commented on my haircut making my face look round, it reminded me of my chemotherapy days. I tried to brush it off and not make a big deal out of it. However, when she continued to ask me if I wanted a drink and pointed out my lack of jewelry with short hair, I lost my temper.
I know that I shouldn’t have snapped at her, but I couldn’t help it. It felt like she was nitpicking everything about me, and I had enough. Revealing my cancer diagnosis at the party was not the right thing to do, and I regret it. I apologize to my brother and his girlfriend for stealing their moment, but at that moment, I was overwhelmed with emotions.
Cancer is not just a physical battle; it’s a mental and emotional one too. It’s important to be mindful of our words and actions, especially around people who are battling cancer. We never know what they are going through and how our comments might affect them. As for me, I am still fighting my battle, and I will do everything I can to overcome it.
In His Words
Seven years ago I had cervical cancer, which wreaked havoc on my life in a lot of ways. Perhaps stupidly but I was more upset about losing my hair than I was my fertility, at least at first. I used to have long hair, rarely ever cut it, but shaved it during the course of chemo. Even after treatment, after remission, I found that I felt empowered by my new hairstyle (mostly what it meant to me) and kept it short. Recently I’ve been diagnosed with vaginal cancer. Thankfully we caught it early so hopes are high, but I won’t lie that I’m not upset that this is happening to me again. This upset has led me to be tetchy.
My brother and his new girlfriend and newborn flew in for a visit, for the first time since the baby was born. This is the first time in years we’ve seen him, except for video calls, because they’re out of country now. She’s a sweetheart but kind of blunt. Over the course of the party: She pointed out that my haircut made my face look round – but that’s the chemo causing fluid build up. She asked me multiple times if I was sure I didn’t want a drink, mostly because she was also getting herself one. She also said I was very confident to avoid wearing jewelry with such short hair; again she is a little lacking in social mores but still she’s very genuine in what she says.
I just got sick of answering questions about my lack of alcohol, about my haircut, about my face, so I snapped, admittedly. After she commented about my hair again I said, “I have cancer” very bluntly and too loudly. Many people overheard, which caused many eyes to turn onto us, during a party that was meant for my brother and his girlfriend.
My brother took me aside after everyone else had left the house and his GF was in the car. He said I made a scene. He expressed his sympathy that I was dealing with cancer again, but he said that he wished I chose a better time to reveal it, because it took away from his and his family’s announcements
What Can You say to this