All that matters to my parents keeping up appearances. When they learned I was about to become a single mother at 19, they forced me to give up my own baby or leave.
I’d been dating Alan for 6 months when I noticed some changes in my body. My period was almost a month late, my breasts got slightly bigger, and my mood changed too. But when I started to get nauseous smelling Chinese food, I knew I needed to take a pregnancy test.
And to my surprise, it showed two stripes which meant I was pregnant. I didn’t know what to think or what to do. I was a 19-year-old girl with not too many plans or life aspirations. I had just started college and I wasn’t even sure if I liked what I was taking up there.
Since I was a child, my parents had it in their heads that I would be a lawyer. My family is quite well-off but I felt like an outsider. Having everything you want is great, but I always felt some sort of void. As if there were something missing.
They say rich kids don’t develop the stamina and motivation to work hard and fulfill their dreams because they aren’t taught how to do so. And that was my case. I always got what I wanted without making much effort.
Even though I didn’t know what to do with the latest news, I knew I had to share it with Alan. But he didn’t like the idea of being a father.
“Alan, my period is late and I’ve been feeling sick. I took a pregnancy test and it’s positive. I’m pregnant!” I told him.
Alan was shocked. He was silent for a minute then he spoke. “I can’t be a father, Sue. You’re gonna have to give it up.”
“But I can’t do that… I don’t want to kill a baby!”
“It’s not even a baby yet. I can’t have a child now. I’m about to graduate from medical school. A child would ruin everything for me…”
I started to cry. All I wanted was his support because I knew my parents wouldn’t support me.
I needed to take some time and find the courage to tell my parents as well. My dad is a conservative politician and all he thought of was his political campaign. My mom is an actress and her mind is only around her physical image and career.
But I had no other choice. I had to tell them. My dad’s first reaction was, obviously, negative: “What? I hope you’re planning to get married to this Alan boy.”
“Actually, he left me. He didn’t want a child. And he told me to get an abortion…”
What? Did he leave you? Well, I can’t allow my 19-year-old daughter in an Ivy League law school to become a single mother. You should terminate that! The election is coming up and this will affect my ratings if the media finds out!”
She looked at me with a serious expression.“Your father is right, Sue. You can’t have a baby right now… We can’t. This wouldn’t be good for my career either.”
Here’s the thing,” my dad stood up from the couch and continued, “you’ll have to find a way to get rid of this child. I don’t care how… You’re could give it to someone, or… I don’t know. Just do something!” and he left.
Abortion wasn’t an option for me. The fact that I got pregnant, I knew I was supposed to bring this child to the world, whether I raise it or not. So I looked for people who wanted to adopt a child and found an adoption agency.
Seven months later, they found me the perfect candidates. Marla and Harry were wealthy and successful. They were young and looking forward to having a baby. So I decided to choose them.
I had only 2 months left of pregnancy, so they decided to spend as much time with me as they could. Marla would buy supplements for pregnant women, healthy food, and even books. “If you’re healthy, so is the baby,” she would say.
They both used to dream of what their baby would look like and they didn’t want to know the gender but they already had names for both a boy and a girl.
One day, Harry came with an envelope for me and said, “This is just a small gift for you, Sue. Build the future you want!” I opened the envelope and it was packed with money!
When my water broke, they took me to the hospital. The labor wasn’t easy and it lasted many hours. I was exhausted after. The doctors said it was because my baby was born with an issue. He had a weak heart and needed long-term treatment. The treatment would secure his life though the chances he would develop sequelae were pretty high.
Unfortunately, Marla and Harry reacted to the news in such an unexpected way. “You were trying to trick us, weren’t you? You knew the baby was sick and that’s why you gave it up for adoption!” Harry said to me.
“Of course not! I didn’t know any of these… You dreamed about this baby!”
“You know what, Sue? Forget about the adoption. We don’t want a defective baby.” They left and I never saw them again.
I felt terrible about it and I had to find new parents for this poor newborn baby. Until something happened that change the whole course of my story. When I held that baby in my arms and looked at him, something immediately changed inside me. This was MY baby and no one else’s.
I was his mother and I didn’t need people’s approval or support to raise him. I could give him all the love he needed because this love just flourished inside me when I took him in my arms