I Married A Good Man But His Mother Was A Monster I Had To Fight

“One of the first things my mother-in-law said to me while we were trying to conceive was, “You came here to marry, not get pregnant. So focus your attention on my son instead of trying to have kids. Isn’t it too soon anyway?” I was stunned.

In most stories, it is the mother-in-law who pressures the new wife for a grandchild. So why was my case the opposite? I wondered about this through my struggles to conceive. Later, I found out that the woman did not agree to my marriage to her son. Nobody told me this until after the marriage when she constantly insulted me that her son refused her choice and chose me instead.

After three years of praying and hoping, God blessed my womb with a child. This woman said the pregnancy did not belong to her child. She was so determined that my baby would not inherit my husband’s properties. I thought it was all one big joke until my mother-in-law ensured my husband willed his properties to others and left out his only son. I couldn’t believe it even though it all happened right before my eyes.

I complained to my family and my mother was enraged. She wanted to take on my oppressor but my dad asked her to stay out of it. “This is her marriage. Let her work it out. At the end of the day, it is God who will win this battle, and not man.” That’s the kind of family I come from. They would rather pray for someone who hit them than hit the person back. When it comes to marriage, my dad takes the “for better or worse” part of the vows very seriously. He told me, “I would only support you to leave if your husband assaults you.”

Fortunately and unfortunately for me, my husband is not abusive but his mother is. It got to a point where I couldn’t stay in the house whenever she visited. Her loud and aggressive energy was just too toxic for me. So I would go to my parents’ place so I wouldn’t have to deal with her.

One day my dad told me, “Why are you allowing another woman to run you out of your marital home? Next time when she is coming, don’t leave the house for her. Stay in your house. Cook your meals. Go to work and return to your husband. You have to remember that it’s your home and she is the visitor. Be yourself and allow God to win this battle for you.”

My father’s advice is good and gold, but it was not easy to follow. As someone who doesn’t like confrontations, it really was difficult. However, I stayed and fought in my own little way.

One thing I remember was that anytime my mother-in-law visited, my child would get sick. There was a time when this woman visited and said my baby drank something poisonous. Out of panic, my husband and I jumped into our car to take the baby to the hospital. On our way, my mother-in-law called to tell my husband that she just finished preparing fufu so he should come and eat. Believe me, that part was not as shocking as my husband turning around to go home and eat his mother’s food while our child was fighting for his life.

It was at that moment that I understood the scripture saying we don’t wrestle against flesh and blood. I said a little prayer in my head and called my mother. The moment I told her what was going on she said, “Jesus! Let’s pray.” She prayed and then called my husband. I heard her asking him, “Do you want your baby to die? Because that’s what is going to happen if you don’t get him to the hospital immediately.

It was at that point that my husband was shaken back into reality and turned the car around again. When we got to the hospital, the doctor said we were right on time. Had we delayed a little longer, we would have lost our child. We were in the hospital for a month. The entire time we were there, my mother-in-law didn’t even show up at the hospital to see her grandchild.

Because of what happened, our baby did not grow as rapidly as kids his age. When he turned two, he could neither walk nor talk. Whereas most grandparents would have been concerned and tried to help find a solution to the problem, my mother-in-law used my child’s condition as insults against me. Every little thing, she would ask; “Is your baby a reptile? Why can’t he walk on two feet at his age? He won’t even talk for you to know if he makes human sounds.” She was a vicious woman who was always out for blood.

A good friend introduced me to Alpha Hour and it helped. I was constantly praying and crying out to God. The first day we saw our child walk was when he was two and a half years old. We wept as a family when he started making sentences. My mother-in-law asked my husband how the child started walking. His response was, “God did it.” That quieted her.

When it came to my husband, most of the time he stood by me. However, sometimes he would get confused and wonder whose side he should take. I just saw those few times as a battle God is still fighting for me. I was so sure that a time would come when he would see his mother for who she truly is.

Seven years into the marriage, God blessed me with another pregnancy. This time around I didn’t tell anyone. By the time my mother-in-law knew it, I had given birth to a beautiful princess. When she found out she got upset that I kept the pregnancy a secret from her. I don’t know why but she said she would have wanted to see me pregnant. I didn’t mind her.

After our second baby, things began to change. My husband has discarded the first will. Now, my children’s names are on the properties. I believe that sometimes when these things happen, it’s okay to seek spiritual protection. Whether the person has a bad character or is misbehaving under the influence of evil spirits, I have learned that it works when you fight these battles spiritually as well as physically.

I have been in the marriage for ten years now and I have seen all sorts of “shege” thanks to the woman whose son I married. I remember a time when I even said, “If something happens and this marriage ends, I will not get married again.” It was all because of my mother-in-law. Right now, I am thankful that I didn’t leave when she first tried to run me off. I am more than grateful that I did not give up on what has now evolved into a beautiful marriage. I love how firm my husband has become when it comes to his mother. Maybe he has finally seen her for himself. Or maybe the prayers worked. Whatever the reason, I am glad I took my father’s advice and prayed when things got hard. One thing he always said was, “God always wins.” Yes, he does and I am a testimony of his victory.