I Thought I Married a Broke Man… Until I Discovered the Truth And I Was Left In Shock

Before he asked me to marry him he told me everything about his financial situation. He said, “My dear, I’m a broke man. I don’t have money or anything to offer you except my love.” I told him, “I earn my own money so I am not looking to be with a man because of money.” He reiterated, “I don’t think you understand what I’m saying. I have absolutely no money.” At first, I thought he was just being modest.

However, when we spoke deeply about his situation, I realized that he was not joking. He was at the lowest point of his wife. He was a university graduate without a job living on a monthly allowance of GHC400 that his church paid him for being their instrumentalist. Although his situation was disheartening, it didn’t push me away. If anything, it made him like him more for being honest and open about his struggles.

When the Covid-19 pandemic started, churches were closed down so he no longer received his monthly allowance from church. If things were hard before, they were worse now. He had no income at all so it became more difficult for him to function properly. I didn’t want him to become dependent on me or go around soliciting help from others so I bought him a car.

He had a driver’s license, and drivers were not banned from working during the lockdown. It seemed reasonable to buy a car for him to use as an Uber. All he had to do was work with it and use the money to take care of himself. But this man kept complaining about the car. Every day came with a new problem that needed to be fixed.

This went on until I told him, “If it’s that bad then let’s sell it and buy a new one.” He agreed and we sold it. The money we made from the sale was not enough to buy another car so I added my money to it for us to afford a new one that didn’t give us problems like the first one.

It’s been two years and ten months since he started using the car. He has only given me GHC10,000 out of the money I invested in the car. I am not happy about it but that’s even the least of my problems.

Currently, we are married with a daughter. I had the baby through C.S. so the hospital bills were more expensive than we anticipated. Could you believe that this man gave me GHC500 as his contribution to the GHC4,000 I had to pay to the hospital? I could afford to pay the rest so I didn’t complain. Maybe, that was my mistake.

Right now, his church pays him GHC1,000 for working as an instrumentalist. I don’t know if this is the reason he stopped working with the car we bought almost three years ago. He claims he doesn’t want to work with it anymore because it’s giving him problems, but he drives it to events. He uses this same car to visit his friends and give them rides when they need lifts. How can a grown man explain this for it to make sense?

He has left the financial aspect of the home for me to take care of. I buy the food we eat, pay utility bills, our child’s school fees, and even our rent. When I ask what he does with the money he gets from the church, he would go out and buy a tin of Milo and a few biscuits and tell me, “This is all I can afford.”

He stays at home all day yet waits for me to come back from work to go and pick up our little girl from school. I cook and stock the fridge. All he has to do is warm it for dinner but he still waits for me to come and do it.

I have also stopped bothering with what he will eat when I get home after 6 PM. Very soon I will stop stocking the fridge with food and washing his clothes. I just want him to take up some responsibilities around the house. I feel I have been through enough because of him and I can’t take it anymore.

I took a chance on a broke man hoping he would do well by me when things get better for him but he has proven to be just a lazy man who won’t even do anything to help himself. I am just sharing my story here because I don’t have anyone to talk to about these things. I hope I am taking the right step by taking away my wifely duties to him.