My Demons Found a Home In This Lady, But There Is More

Winta and I are childhood friends. Because I have known her my entire life, I trust her completely. When she speaks well of someone, I know the person is good. It’s because she is a good judge of character. When we were about to go to college, we ended up in different schools but in the same city.

That didn’t ruin our friendship though. If anything, it gave us more to talk about. One thing I noticed was that every time we spoke, she mentioned a particular friend. Her name is Zera. I hadn’t met her but I felt I knew her well because of how often Winta brought her up in conversations.

One day while we were talking I said, “Your friend Zera sounds like a lovely person. I want to get to know her.” She didn’t mind. All she asked was that I wait till she got her friend’s permission before she would give out her number. It was a reasonable request and I am a patient man. Luckily, I didn’t have to wait for long.

The number was sent to me in no time. I even felt luckier when I didn’t meet a cold person on the other end of the phone. She was so sweet and warm toward me. I set out to be her friend but I found myself falling in love with her within a very short time. That was the beginning of our love story. For the first two months of the relationship, she was good.

I had some insecurities from my past relationship but with her, I felt my demons had found a home. Even when I was worried about something, she would calmly reassure me of her love. Zera felt like an angel sent to heal wounds I didn’t even know existed in my heart. I was happy and utterly blinded by her love.

The first date we planned was for her to visit me. Although we were both students, I felt I had to pay her bus fare. I did it because it was our first date and she was coming all the way to see me. When she showed up, I noticed she was practically glued to her phone. She paid more attention to it than she even did to me.

It bothered me but I kept quiet. “Maybe she is on her phone so much because she is nervous,” I thought. It was the best I could do to comfort myself so I wouldn’t make a fuss about the situation. When school went on vacation, I moved to another city to do one or two things. That was when things started falling apart for us.

Communication became difficult. She wouldn’t call or text me until I reached out first. There were days I struggled with internet issues. I would be offline for days as a result. During this period if I didn’t pick up my phone to call her, my girlfriend wouldn’t call me. Sometimes I did it intentionally just to test her.

But not once did she check up on me. This made me unhappy but I kept making excuses for her because of how much I love her. “Maybe she is busy.” “Maybe she can’t afford to buy airtime.” For this reason, I did my best to care for her. Whatever she needed, I would go to depths to look for it for her.

Sometimes, all I had to my name was a dollar. Still, I would give it to her and be left with nothing. My fellow Kenyans here can testify how broke a college student can be when he’s jobless. Yet that didn’t stop me from supporting her financially. I remember one time when she was sick. I had nothing on me but I went to my brother and asked him to help me out.

He was also struggling to keep his business going but he spared some money for me to send to her.

This is how much I love Zera. It just made me sad that she couldn’t return my affections in equal measure. I thought if I went all out for her and proved to her that I was her man, she would return to the sweet and warm person I fell in love with, but her cold treatment continued.

In a desperate attempt to salvage the dying embers of our love, I told her I had a baby with my ex. “My daughter and I have a great bond,” I said. She believed me. Meanwhile, it’s not true. None of it. It was just a silly prank I played on her. I wanted to know how she would react. Based on her response I would know if I should let her go or keep trying to work things out.

Be careful what you wish for, that’s what they say, isn’t it? I don’t even know what I was thinking but ever since I told her about my fictional daughter, she has pulled away. Her messages have become dry. It’s obvious she is losing interest in me. I have seen what I want to see but I am not ready to let her go yet.

So I want to come clean. However, when I discussed the prank with my brother, his advice was, “Don’t tell her you were just joking. If not, she will never take you seriously. The best thing is to let her find out the truth on her own.

Maybe your friend, Winta will tell her.” He added that if Zera truly cares about me she would ask more questions about my supposed daughter until she uncovers the truth. I want to know if his advice is the right step I should take. Should I really not tell her I was just being silly? What happens then if she doesn’t attempt to know more but rather leaves me?