I’ve been dating Kwame since July of 2019. We met at a church program. Whatever we felt for each other was instant. Our special connection has grown deeper since. Kwame is a nice guy who appears quiet. When he is with me though, he is the exact opposite, in a good way.
We all know how important it is to be with someone who makes you laugh. Kwame has a good sense of humor and he makes me laugh until my belly hurts. He is kind, gentle, charming, hardworking, and most importantly, God-fearing. He has introduced me to his family, and they are very open to me. They tell me that, with Kwame, what you see is what you get. There is no duality in him. He is not married and has no kids, which works well for me.
The closer we got, the more our attraction for each other was undeniable. Kwame finally decided to put a voice to his intentions. He proposed love to me. When he proposed to me, I was not in a good place, psychologically.
I had gotten my heart broken by a lot of guys, and I was not ready to love again. Before I met Kwame, I told God “I have had enough with heartbreaks, and disappointments. If you don’t want me coming to you with yet another heartbreak, make sure that the next guy who proposes to me, turns out to be my husband.” I put Kwame through a series of tests, and he passed them all.
I asked God to show me all the signs I needed, to know that Kwame was the one, and he surely did. Because I was serious about seeking the face of God, I often joined prayer lines. The man of God always gave me a prophecy, “You are blessed. Your husband is closer than you think.” At a revival I attended recently, the preacher said to me “It does not matter how many men have come and gone.
The Lord has spoken in your life already”. It was my first time meeting that prophet. So I trust that if he knew about my past, he must be genuine. The message he gave me was a direct message from God himself. This means Kwame is the man for me. The heavens have spoken, so I went on and accepted Kwame’s proposal with joy in my heart.
He doesn’t have much, because he is in school. However, he lets me feel loved and appreciated. He treats me like a queen, and I love him for that. He always said “Blessing, do not be so quick to tell your parents about our relationship. Take your time. Don’t rush things.” I never listened to his counsel. All I talked about around the house was, “Kwame this”, “Kwame that”.
I don’t think there’s anything more annoying than a girl in love. My parents never said this, but they began to feel a little annoyed at my constant mention of Kwame. One day my mother asked, “Who is this Kwame guy, and when are you going to bring him home?” I said soon. When I told Kwame about my parents wanting to meet him, he said, “I will be there whenever they call me to come over.”
One evening I was on the phone with Kwame, when my mom came home and she said something about him that wasn’t nice. Kwame heard the comment. I tried to change the topic, so he would not get upset. My cousin who was around said “Ma, Blessing is on the phone with Kwame now. And you just said that.” My mom was very ashamed, “next time tell me when you are on the phone.” As if it was my fault she got caught saying something awful about someone who didn’t do anything to her. Kwame was concerned about what had happened. He said to me, “Ama, your mom has not even met me in person yet, and she already doesn’t like me.” I told him to calm down. I tried to convince him that he was mistaken.
I introduced Kwame to my father at a public gathering, as a friend. My dad understood what I meant by friend. He asked Kwame, “Young man, is that true?” Kwame smiled, and said, “Yes sir.” My dad said “OK, I will advise you two to stay holy and pure. Treat my daughter with care because she means a lot to me.” It was a good sign that my father approved of him. I was happy about it.
A few weeks after their meeting, my dad called Kwame and asked him to come to the house on Sunday evening. I was so excited! I cleaned the house as if the president was coming to visit. Sunday afternoon, Kwame called my dad to ask what time he could come. My father said he had an emergency church meeting. He had to postpone Kwame’s visit to the following Sunday.
When the following Sunday arrived, my dad postponed again to the next Sunday, with another excuse. He postponed the next visit too. At this point, I am convinced my mother has a hand in this. For whatever reason, I don’t know. I told Kwame about my suspicions. He literally pulled an “I told you so” on me. Well, he did tell me not to rush things. “When I am finished with school next year, I will come around with some elders and do the proper knocking.” He promised. I know it’s a promise he meant to keep. But I was concerned about my parents’ behavior. They didn’t even know him, yet they had written him off.
These days, when I bring him up in conversation with my family, it doesn’t go well. Every time they say, “He’s not good enough for you. Focus on your studies. Forget about boys for now.” My only problem is, no one has taken the time to sit down and have a conversation with him.
Shouldn’t they at least get to know him before passing judgment on him? Eh, how can you judge someone you don’t know? I couldn’t bear to have them continue to talk bad about Kwame anymore so I started doing things in secret.
I’d leave the house under the guise of hanging out with friends, but I would actually be at Kwame’s. My parents started getting worried about my new trait, lying. They said I am not someone who lies so they don’t understand why I have started doing it. I told Kwame about it. Yes, I tell him everything. His response was, “You are a big girl. If they don’t accept what you want, then it shouldn’t come as a surprise that you are shutting them out.”
Everyone who sees us together says we complement each other, and that we look good together. What are the outsiders seeing that my family is not seeing? When I ask my parents what the problem is, my mother said she didn’t like him the moment she met him.
Just like that, her instant dislike for him is bleeding on my happiness. My father said he’d support my mother in her decision. Can you believe my mother actually called Kwame one day, warning him to stay away from me? Kwame said, “If your parents feel this strongly about me, then they should take you. I love you but I can’t be with someone whose family disapproves of me.” I tried to salvage the situation by assuring him that I’d stand by him.
He agreed to stay with me if only I stand up to my parents. We love each other very much and we will both be done with school next year God willing. I told an elderly person I trust about the issue.
He said there is a proverb that says, “A child can be on top of a ladder and not see anything from afar. An adult can be on the same ladder and see way further into the future than the child.” Should I stay with Kwame and possibly ruin the relationship with my family? Or trust my heart and stay around?
He does not treat me badly and I cannot think of one bad thing he does that would prevent me from marrying him. I am 26 and he is 30 years. We are not getting any younger and we want to start our future together. I am totally confused. What should I do?